Seth’s World View

Last night, I was whining to God, and at least in this case, seeking Him, petitioning Him. It’s always wierd to do that, because often nothing changes at that instance. It’s just a feeling of helplessness. At I loss, I looked straight ahead, and to the side, saw my guitar, which I haven’t picked much the past year. I got out my songs, and after lamenting how shallow so many songs I used to like are, found a few I did, such as With Every Breath. So I played and sang for about 30 minutes. It was mystical. How is it I forget the power of worship? Or is it that I forget to worship, or just don’t. Case in point: I can sing on a Sunday morning and not worship. And as I lament all the things in my life that could be idols and/or addictions, or put another way, the false gods I worship that define me, that define me as anything but God’s image and the beloved of God, well, how do I forget that sin and idolatry are very difficult to simply dismiss. So often we tell ourselves, I need to not do this and not be that, and we miss the entire point. Despite being created in God’s image, and though fallen, I am still God’s creation, which is still in some sense good. That is not lost. BUT, my nature, my nature is self-focused, self-centered, and thus, sinful. It just is. And life is not a steady progression where I rid my life of all sin by the end. That’s not even the point. If anything, by the end of my life, my sin will be all the more apparent, rooted so deep that I can never be completely rid of it this side of heaven.

Last night, I was reminded, as I so often am along this journey, that I need Christ. I really, really need Christ, I need a savior. I don’t need Him so I can live a good life and get all the things I want out of life. I need Him because I NEED HIM. And when I worship Him, really worship Him, something happens. But I can’t conjure it up, I have to mean it. And desperately seeking suddenly shifts it all from my faults, weakness, inability, to God. God, who is, and He is able, but He’s more than that, because God is not simply a tool to make my life work (if anything, it’s the other way around). He is my creator, the one who understands, the one worthy of worship, the one who transcends all that I am, the one I will never understand. And He is so much more worthy of worship than the worthless idols that try to grab my attention, and my love.

And today, I am at peace, because there is peace in knwoing that I need Jesus, because I am weak, not strong, and all the more weak when I don’t worship Him. But, He who is and always has been is beyond the natural. Why do I keep looking at things in the natural when I serve a supernatural God?