Seth’s World View

I was walking the streets of downtown Fort Collins this evening, after dark. Darkness doesn’t mean much here, this being the safest city I’ve ever lived in. Though that doesn’t keep me from being on guard, especially when walking around with an expensive camera. Upon leaving The Bean Cycle, I discovered lights, many of them, strewn thoughout the trees in a beautious fashion. It was a terrific contrasting scene.

I grabbed my camera, and started abstracting, over and underexposing, motioning. It’s what I do. It’s wierd though, standing there, taking a photo of nothing, people walking by, perhaps wondering what I’m doing. And I pay attention to people, sometimes fear them, at times for no reason. So, I can notice people and ignore them at the same time, strange.

I feel vibes. People walk around town. You look in their eyes, if you dare, and see how much they’ve had to drink, a glimpse perhaps of their heart, or maybe their walls they don’t want you to enter. And I wonder, to look or not. And I walk down one street, where someone says a word, almost resembling my name, or maybe I hear what I want to hear. So I look out of the corner as I turn around and walk the other way.

And he follows, i think, but am not sure, as I cross the street when the light tells me to. I stop. A shadow near me stops, so I look at the shadow, which is a man, with a bike, tougher than I, as I see and keep turning and stand. And as he continues, I think I hear, “Be careful,” in an onimous tone. And I go another way, capturing lights on digital flash.

I think back to the times I walked the streets of Harrisburg, with the intent of evangelizing, fearfully walking the drug-lined avenues. And I wondered, upon returning home, about my gaze, and my heart. I looked in the mirror, and saw the lack of love in my heart, eyes that are too often suspicious in fear, uncertain of what to say, too busy to stop, or simply not loving the person that walks past.

Love. It takes prayer. A sense of God’s presence. A reminder that God cares about the people I pass every day, or night. A reminder.