Seth’s World View

So this was Easter, a celebration of Ishtar…oh wait, that was the pagan version. No, we celebrate the hybrid holiday and focus on the Christian resurrection aspect of it. As I was driving today…on I-25…I reaffirmed that: yes, I do believe in the supernatural. Thus, certainly God coming to earth as a man and dying and resurrecting could happen. Without a doubt in my mind, there is more to this world than what the eye I can see. I’m convinced of that, have seen enough, heard enough. And of the spiritual stories, the Bible is the story I choose to believe. Not that I always know what to think of the Bible, but there’s enough there to give me a picture of God and a context for living.

So what difference does it make that Jesus rose from that dead? Sometimes, well, not much. This weekend, it didn’t mean much, as I turned inward to my pain. Some resurrection. Forgiveness sounds good though. It means something to me. As hard on myself as I am, I like the notion of a forgiving God. I like more the power behind it, to know my God can beat death, can do supernatural exploits, can empower me to be something more. Sometimes the outwardly focused loving person just doesn’t seem possible, and maybe it isn’t, in my strength. Even when serving, it’s hard to part with self-serving motives. But what if I can seek God’s empowerment and wisdom even there? Actually, I’d just like it right now, as I prepare for rest before a busy week.

Oh, and with girls, I’m just disappointed, and really don’t want to think about them any more, so I’m going to endeavor to not. Rich Mullins once said, “Right now I cannot imagine that life could be happier married than it is single, so I’m not in a panic about getting married. And I think, you know, maybe God wanted me to be celibate and the way that He accomplished that was to break my heart. So that’s the way it goes.” I don’t know. I would prefer to be in a relationship, have for awhile, and likely will, but I have many good things, and friends, in my life, and as much as it breaks my heart, if this one piece must be withheld, so be it. There are advantages to being single (just as there are to being married), and honestly, I can’t say I envy all the married people I know of, only some of them:)

I just hope that I can be a more loving and serving person…and have it flow from my heart. Now, I just pray for grace to sleep well tonight.